Of Math and Russians
by The Ingenuitive Jackal
Summary: Kingdom Hearts fanfic one-shot staring: Sora, Roxas, Riku, Demyx, Zexion, and Larxenne.


A Kingdom Hearts One-shot, for Lauren A. Zimmerman, one of my two best friends…

Credits: Square-Enix, Disney, Cynthia, Lauren

_Of Math and Russian_

Roxas and Sora had headed home after school, something unusual for the pair. While Sora could only think of playing his latest buy, Final Dream 10, Roxas knew he needed to study for his math test tomorrow. The duo were accompanied by their friend Demyx, who had threatened to face-rape them if he didn't get to see Sora's new game, and Riku, Sora's constant companion, both during the day _and_ night. During the past few days though, the two had stayed two feet away from each other at all times. Their brother, Cloud, had come home for a short stay. Just about everyone knew about the Cloud-Riku-Sora incident, and no one wanted a repeat (see Carmine Complex).

Sora and Roxas' home stood out like a sore thumb. While other houses were prim and pristine with manicured lawns, theirs bore the marks of their lives. The garage door hadn't been replaced since Cloud had accidentally wrecked his motorcycle into it. The garage looked like a large mouth with the door missing. The lawn needed a trim and the garden left much to be desired. The house itself looked like an island compared to the rest, except for a rope partially hidden behind the trellis leading to Sora's room.

The troupe barreled through the front door, Demyx tackling Roxas into the couch, Sora heading for the kitchen for gaming snacks, and Riku carefully shutting the door, watching for the face of doom that could appear at any moment, even if the black motorcycle wasn't parked outside.

"Get off Demyx!" Roxas roared, as he beat the older teen with a remote.

"Awe, but Roxy…" Demyx whimpered as he slid off Roxas, who was now part of the leather couch.

Sora came back from the kitchen balancing two bowls of assorted munchies in each hand. "Riku, Demyx, could you guys grab the sodas?"

"Sure" Riku replied as he headed toward the kitchen, but the pink-shirted blur of Demyx bolted up the stairs yelling "Me first!" almost knocking Sora down the stairs as he headed for his room. Sora regained his balance, letting out a sigh, and continued up, Riku now behind him with the soda.

"Finally," a very relieved Roxas let out as he pulled himself from between the cushions. He took off his messenger bag, which had also been stuck in the couch during Demyx's attack, and quickly rifled through it, soon finding his statistics book. It was a hard class, and even though Prof. Luxord did not require the homework be done, Roxas knew doing it was the only way he could understand and pass the class.

Two hours later, the other three had yet to reappear, the sounds of "kill him" and "use cure!" being heard through the floor and walls. Roxas, who had thoroughly studied the section he was working on, sat staring stupefied at the realization that he didn't know what he was doing. The first fifteen questions had been easy, asking about the basic concepts of the section, and the next five were about identifying parts of the problems. It was the next thirty questions, each with five parts, that stopped him. As he stared, he felt like he had just wasted the studying and could see a big red "F" being stamped on his test. He dknew about the null hypothesis, alternate hypothesis, and even the z-score formula he knew by heart, but nothing was fitting together. There were answers in the back of the book, but they wouldn't help him when it came to actually knowing how to do it on the test. He sat the book down on the coffee table and decided that maybe one of Sora's group might know. After all, the rest of his friends, like Demyx, were a little older than Roxas and one of them had to of had the class before.

He headed up the stairs and into Sora's room, Riku visibly jumping from his place next to Sora as Roxas came through the door. Sora was sitting on the floor, controller in hand and eyes glued to the screen, with Demyx perched on his bed right over his shoulder, just as entranced. Roxas knew better than to bug Sora while he played a video game, so he decided to ask Demyx.

"Hey Demyx. Demyx. Deeeeemmmyyyxx. Demyx!" On the last "Demyx" Roxas snapped his fingers in front of the zonked-out teen, who only slightly came to. "Huh? Oh, hi Roxas" the blonde said, a little dazed. Roxas rolled his eyes. "I wanted to know if you knew anyone that could help me with my stats homework."

Demyx's dazed look was replaced with a thoughtful look. "Uh, yah, I think Zexy and Larxene took it together. Here…" Demyx tossed his cell phone to Roxas. "You can find Zexys number in there." Demyx went back to watching the game.

"Um, Demyx, there's no entries with a 'Z' in here."

"That's because it's listed under 'S'" he said matter of factly. Roxas wasn't going to question the logic, but quickly found the name listed as "Sexy Zexy." A low _riiigghht_ escaped his mouth as he dialed the number into his cell phone. He tossed the phone back to Demyx, who caught it without looking away from the screen. Roxas looked at Riku in amazement, but Riku just shrugged and started watching the game again.

There was too much noise in the room for Roxas to make a phone call, so he headed down to the living room again. He pressed the dial button as he sat down. It rang twice, then suddenly dropped the call. _Darn. _He dialed again, this time moving to another spot, and four rings later Zexion answered. "Hello?" The normally serene teen had a slight strain to his voice, and his breathing was a little quick. "Um, Zexion, it's Roxas." There was a slight rustling sound. "I wanted to know if you could help me with my statistics homework. Demyx said you had taken the class." There was a pause, during which Roxas heard another male voice yell out "_da….da_!" "Zexion, are you okay? Are you watching a movie?" "Uh, yah" the violet hair teen replied, a little out of breath. "I'll be over in an hour or so. Bye." _Click._

"That was weird. Maybe he was watching a foreign film. He reads and watches all kinds of interesting stuff. But I wonder why he was so out of breath?"

An hour and a half later, Zexion showed up at the door, along with Larxene. "Hey, I didn't know you were coming too Larxene. The two stepped thought the doorway. "That's right!" Larxene blurted out as she poked Roxas in the chest with her finger nail. "Ouch, what was that for?"

"I don't need a reason for stabbing" the blonde girl stated defiantly. "_Damn angry lesbian"_ Roxas said in a low voice. "What did you say?" Larxene spun around menacingly.

"Nothing! Nothing!" Roxas shrieked.

"That's what I thought."

Roxas shut the door and moved towards the couch, picking up the math book off the coffee table. Larxene lounged in an armchair and Zexion sat next to Roxas, the book "A Guide to Statistics" in his hand. "This," Zexion said as he handed the book to Roxas, "is you bible for the class." Larxene tossed a graphing calculator at Roxas, who caught it just before it flew into his eye. "That'll have what you need in it" she said as she pulled out file and began working on her nails.

An hour or so later, they were half-way done and decided to stop for a break. Roxas brought a bottle of water each for himself and Zexion and glass of lemonade for Larxene out of the kitchen.

"So Zexion," Roxas started, "what were you doing earlier when I called. I thought I heard someone speaking another language or something." Larxene started snickering from her place on the arm chair. "Uh, yah" Zexion said quietly. Larxene started giggle-snorting. Zexion's face took on a slight blush.

"Uh, what does 'da' mean?" Roxas asked in the most innocent of ways. Larxene burst out into a cackle and fell on rolling on the floor. Zexion now turned a rosy color, the only color Roxas had ever seen in the teens face. "What?!" Roxas said, now frustrated that he was missing something.

"I think you mean 'who' Roxas" Larxene said between laughs. Zexion gave her the look of _I'm going to kill you_, but Larxene, with an evil glint in her eye, said "his name is Oswald, the new Russian exchange student at school." Larxene lost control and look like she would explode. "In Russian, _da_ means 'yes." Larxene burst out again and started pounding her fists on the ground. "I can't breathe, I can't breathe" was all she managed to wheeze out. Zexion stood up and walked around to the kitchen as realization hit Roxas. His mouth dropped open and Larxene, who had attempted to compose herself and was now sitting on her knees, pointed at him and started up again. "Ugh, my spleen!"

"Ohmygod!" Roxas screamed in one word, and ran to go burry his face in his bed. A few minutes later, Zexion came out to the living room. Larxene, with a cheshire grin, stood up. "I think that went well." Zexion just shook his head and the two headed out the door.


End file.
